So the other day I witnessed the display of one of the ideas of what makes a man a man is in this society. It all happened at a fast food place. A guy and his girl and his friends were trying to get some food. I am not sure what the cause of the problem was but the girl said something to her man and the next thing he shoves her and walks away and his friends are like "ooo you cant take that" and next thing he turns around and takes of his belt and starts hitting the girl yelling "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" "DON'T FUCKING SAY SHIT TO ME!" I must say that i was sooo surprised. He now asks her to say she is sorry which she does and he says "bitch get in the car!" She did and they sped off. My mouth was wide open. His friends were almost thumping him on his back saying there u go, u need to be a man and put her in her place.
This begs the question is this the measure of a man? Has society neglected to teach its youth for so long that now we a have a generation of young men who are not sure what their purpose is. They assume that to be a man, u have to fight, protect your reputation, defend your turf. That is all BS! What happened to working hard, being accountable, taking care of your mother, protecting your sisters, trying to be a provider? Many young men today have never even heard or conceived of this concept. They have no examples to learn from. I am tired of the whole I HAD NO DADDY ISSUE so I cant relate. I understand that it is hard to give what u don't have or never had, but there are many things that are just plain COMMON SENSE!
I am at the point where I feel like my idealism and optimism will end up being just that. There is almost no hope for the lost generation. Capitalism, drugs, turf wars, and a general lack of direction or even the idea of a direction makes me sigh more and more. WHAT IS THE MEASURE OF A MAN?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Why Feminism Cannot Die
The following is an excerpt from Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards (Farrar, Straus & Giroux, 2000).
Feminists are just women who don't want to be treated like shit." Su, an Australian woman interviewed for the 1996 anthology DIY Feminism says. In the most basic sense, feminism is exactly what the dictionary says it is: the movement for social, political, and economic equality of men and women. Public opinion polls confirm that when people are given this definition, 67 percent say they agree with feminism. We prefer to add to that seemingly uncontroversial statement the following: feminism means that women have the right to enough information to make informed choices about their lives. And because "women" is an all encompassing term that includes middle-class white women, rich black lesbians, and working-class straight Asian women, an organic intertwining with movements for racial and economic equality, as well as gay rights, is inherent to the feminist mandate. Some sort of allegiance between women and men is also an important component of equality. After all, equality is a balance between the male and female with the intention of liberating the individual.
I got all that information above from www.feminist.com
I agree with the above but I have seen that feminism encompasses so much more. In everyday life we see women who break the mold to survive, who decide that it is not OK for them to starve, or to be quiet or to lose hope. They fight each day for something new, better, safer. In my interest in tyring to make a change in my corner, I am going to start law school in the fall. I am interested in Immigration, International and possibly Trade law. My friend asked me once what I wanted to repair and I had no answer. Where can the repair begin? Women and children? The sick? The hungry? Aren't they all the same? Aren't the most sick and hungry the women and their children? The ones viewed as weaker, less important?
People often wonder when they realise that I am feminist in my thoughts, actions, what I will not allow to be done to me and to those around me and they seem surprised. They are like I didn't know you were feminist. And I am like WHY? Because I wear a bra, make up and respect my father? I am more of the mind that as long as a girl can do whatever she wants, get educated, is aware of the possibility that this can be done and there are no prejudicial obstacles in her way of accomplishing her dream, then no one will feel my wrath. I am angered by the stereotypes that people allow to rule their lives. Stereotypes is another reason I am no longer at ease but that will be a topic for another day. As a Black woman from Nigeria, I have seen the feminism in many women around me.African women are formidable on some next level ish. They sacrifice, they never step down and even when they are stooped over by oppression, they move on. THAT IS FEMINISM. Many of them are moms, wives, businesswomen, students, and they still find the time to talk about relevant issues that do not involve any of the roles they fulfil. So as far as women, if enough are empowered, wonders can and will happen.
When I was a child, I thought these Nigerian women were silly. They let culture rule their lives, they did not stand up to fight the ill treatment from their husbands, or in-laws, they took it in stride but as I am older I see their feminism. they refused to be driven from their homes. In seeming to conform, they inadvertently taught their children about empowerment, sacrifice for the greater good and pride. I once read a book called COLONIZE THIS! . It was a collection of short stories that real women wrote about how they showed their feminism against a society that wanted to keep them demure, pure virgins, who cooked, cleaned and did’t mind being given a venereal disease by their cheating husbands and boyfriends. Many of their stories would not be described as radical or news worthy or earth shattering but they were strong, many even silent in their determination not to be victimized and quiet in their victory because they were NOT surprised that they rose above it. THAT IS FEMINISM. It is a spirit or state of mind when a woman would no longer be contained or confined. It is the right to freedom in every aspect.
We need this state of mind to remind us to stand up for justice every time even in the small things, the things that tug at our minds when all is quiet before the household falls asleep, the things we do not have the courage to address. Feminism, helps us as women and men who have embraced this spirit to be fair, just and accountable to ourselves first, and when we can no longer live with our conciences, then maybe we will do something.
Feminists are just women who don't want to be treated like shit." Su, an Australian woman interviewed for the 1996 anthology DIY Feminism says. In the most basic sense, feminism is exactly what the dictionary says it is: the movement for social, political, and economic equality of men and women. Public opinion polls confirm that when people are given this definition, 67 percent say they agree with feminism. We prefer to add to that seemingly uncontroversial statement the following: feminism means that women have the right to enough information to make informed choices about their lives. And because "women" is an all encompassing term that includes middle-class white women, rich black lesbians, and working-class straight Asian women, an organic intertwining with movements for racial and economic equality, as well as gay rights, is inherent to the feminist mandate. Some sort of allegiance between women and men is also an important component of equality. After all, equality is a balance between the male and female with the intention of liberating the individual.
I got all that information above from www.feminist.com
I agree with the above but I have seen that feminism encompasses so much more. In everyday life we see women who break the mold to survive, who decide that it is not OK for them to starve, or to be quiet or to lose hope. They fight each day for something new, better, safer. In my interest in tyring to make a change in my corner, I am going to start law school in the fall. I am interested in Immigration, International and possibly Trade law. My friend asked me once what I wanted to repair and I had no answer. Where can the repair begin? Women and children? The sick? The hungry? Aren't they all the same? Aren't the most sick and hungry the women and their children? The ones viewed as weaker, less important?
People often wonder when they realise that I am feminist in my thoughts, actions, what I will not allow to be done to me and to those around me and they seem surprised. They are like I didn't know you were feminist. And I am like WHY? Because I wear a bra, make up and respect my father? I am more of the mind that as long as a girl can do whatever she wants, get educated, is aware of the possibility that this can be done and there are no prejudicial obstacles in her way of accomplishing her dream, then no one will feel my wrath. I am angered by the stereotypes that people allow to rule their lives. Stereotypes is another reason I am no longer at ease but that will be a topic for another day. As a Black woman from Nigeria, I have seen the feminism in many women around me.African women are formidable on some next level ish. They sacrifice, they never step down and even when they are stooped over by oppression, they move on. THAT IS FEMINISM. Many of them are moms, wives, businesswomen, students, and they still find the time to talk about relevant issues that do not involve any of the roles they fulfil. So as far as women, if enough are empowered, wonders can and will happen.
When I was a child, I thought these Nigerian women were silly. They let culture rule their lives, they did not stand up to fight the ill treatment from their husbands, or in-laws, they took it in stride but as I am older I see their feminism. they refused to be driven from their homes. In seeming to conform, they inadvertently taught their children about empowerment, sacrifice for the greater good and pride. I once read a book called COLONIZE THIS! . It was a collection of short stories that real women wrote about how they showed their feminism against a society that wanted to keep them demure, pure virgins, who cooked, cleaned and did’t mind being given a venereal disease by their cheating husbands and boyfriends. Many of their stories would not be described as radical or news worthy or earth shattering but they were strong, many even silent in their determination not to be victimized and quiet in their victory because they were NOT surprised that they rose above it. THAT IS FEMINISM. It is a spirit or state of mind when a woman would no longer be contained or confined. It is the right to freedom in every aspect.
We need this state of mind to remind us to stand up for justice every time even in the small things, the things that tug at our minds when all is quiet before the household falls asleep, the things we do not have the courage to address. Feminism, helps us as women and men who have embraced this spirit to be fair, just and accountable to ourselves first, and when we can no longer live with our conciences, then maybe we will do something.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Just one reason WHY I am no longer at ease
I usually send messages with my friends in England, Ghana and Nigeria and i found that we do not just discuss mundane things. We tend to have heated arguments that are not only poignant but relevant today. i find that in my interaction with them, there is a deep dissatisfaction with the things I see around me. I told my professor i was going to start blogging and he asked me about what? i told him that I need to talk because I was no longer at ease. He said so all you are going to do is talk? That is not all I am going to do. Maybe I can create a greater awareness not just to be aware but to try to help to make a change in our own little corners. This might become drowned out by the other idealist hopefuls out there who dream of a better world where there is no more pain or suffering or tears. I have no such illusions. What I have is a determination to start in my own corner.
I am now obsessed with modern day slavery, it is very serious in America. You go to big Naija mans house and he has a house girl from Nigeria in the house. He told her parents he will send her to school in America and take care of her, but she doesn’t go to school, she is the house girl, she is here illegally cos she has overstayed her visitors visa, she can’t get help, she is trapped. I have seen many like that in America not only form Africa some Mexican, at least they are not sex slaves like the Asians and the kids from Cambodia. The people who are slaves have no escape. They don’t know who to turn to becos they don’t even know the environment they are in. the live in the basements of these houses, are sometime beaten, raped, accused of trying to steal madams husband. I know many people think it shouldn’t be a big deal becos it is America how can u not escape but i can only explain well if I am talking. Typing what I mean will not capture the essence of this. i have met people who lied to their relatives that they will take care of their kids and then make them their personal slaves. it is pathetic. Even in Nigeria, I did not lie that we had house helps. Even though we did not treat them badly, there were times they were beaten or punished cos they broke plate or stole or lied or were accused of witchcraft. It bothers me that people are so unkind to each other. Not to say that I am such a kind person but I am emotional so I tend to make room to understand people’s actions. Many behaviors are as a result of a person’s history, experiences, hurts, betrayals; we can’t fault them too much for that. I do know that at the end of the day, we are responsible for our actions but maybe we can be more lenient sometimes on people who are just trying to survive so that does not include rapists, murderers and pedophiles. I mean petty child thieves, people who stole food to feed their children, people who make terrible choices becos it was the less of two evils…. I don’t know I really wish that a change can come, that people don’t have to feel hurt or at least when they are hurt know how to deal with it. In Nigerian society it is so normal to not talk abt stuff to stand by and take abuse from pour parents, teachers, in-laws, and the government. WHY WHY WHY I am not happy at all… there is too much pain, too much that I feel that the weight and pain of the world is crushing Atlas, and he is bending over more and more becos the weight is so much. I wonder what would happen if ATLAS shrugged….. What can be done abt pain that people inflict on each other? Can human suffering be alleviated if we used each day to be less mean, less bitter, more helpful, less suspicious, less critical, and more righteous, more kind? I am no longer at ease o!!!! kai!
I am now obsessed with modern day slavery, it is very serious in America. You go to big Naija mans house and he has a house girl from Nigeria in the house. He told her parents he will send her to school in America and take care of her, but she doesn’t go to school, she is the house girl, she is here illegally cos she has overstayed her visitors visa, she can’t get help, she is trapped. I have seen many like that in America not only form Africa some Mexican, at least they are not sex slaves like the Asians and the kids from Cambodia. The people who are slaves have no escape. They don’t know who to turn to becos they don’t even know the environment they are in. the live in the basements of these houses, are sometime beaten, raped, accused of trying to steal madams husband. I know many people think it shouldn’t be a big deal becos it is America how can u not escape but i can only explain well if I am talking. Typing what I mean will not capture the essence of this. i have met people who lied to their relatives that they will take care of their kids and then make them their personal slaves. it is pathetic. Even in Nigeria, I did not lie that we had house helps. Even though we did not treat them badly, there were times they were beaten or punished cos they broke plate or stole or lied or were accused of witchcraft. It bothers me that people are so unkind to each other. Not to say that I am such a kind person but I am emotional so I tend to make room to understand people’s actions. Many behaviors are as a result of a person’s history, experiences, hurts, betrayals; we can’t fault them too much for that. I do know that at the end of the day, we are responsible for our actions but maybe we can be more lenient sometimes on people who are just trying to survive so that does not include rapists, murderers and pedophiles. I mean petty child thieves, people who stole food to feed their children, people who make terrible choices becos it was the less of two evils…. I don’t know I really wish that a change can come, that people don’t have to feel hurt or at least when they are hurt know how to deal with it. In Nigerian society it is so normal to not talk abt stuff to stand by and take abuse from pour parents, teachers, in-laws, and the government. WHY WHY WHY I am not happy at all… there is too much pain, too much that I feel that the weight and pain of the world is crushing Atlas, and he is bending over more and more becos the weight is so much. I wonder what would happen if ATLAS shrugged….. What can be done abt pain that people inflict on each other? Can human suffering be alleviated if we used each day to be less mean, less bitter, more helpful, less suspicious, less critical, and more righteous, more kind? I am no longer at ease o!!!! kai!
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